You know what just grinds my gears… NON-SWIMMERS. Many of my non-swimmer friends don’t know what tech suits are. I swear they act like they don’t know that swimming is a sport just to piss me off. I wish I could give them a swift kick in the pants and tell them my mind. It makes me madder than a red boiled tomato. You should see how mad they get when I say that track isn’t a sport. It’s funny to see how red they get in the face. The best way I can describe tech suits is by comparing them to cars. See, a Speedo is like a regular old high school kid’s car. It’s beat up, dented, scratched, barely runs, and gets the kid to school late. Maybe that’s not the cars fault, but back to the topic, it’s not really that fast. You try to punch the gas and it goes vroooooom, bang. Gee, I wonder what broke now. Better go check the engine. Now, compare that to the rich snobs who decide to come to school with a Lamborghini. Okay, maybe not a Lambo, but let’s say a nice, new 2018 Camaro. Let’s just say it’s nice. Like really nice. You got me; it’s drop dead gorgeous. I can guarantee that you slam on the gas, and you will probably get picked up by the po-po. The po-po would be so impressed by the beauty that they would not even give you a ticket. Well… maybe that’s false, but you get what I’m saying. So, tech suits are like the Camaros of swimming. They make you look drop dead gorgeous and fast as freak. Two bonuses that you can’t live without. Now compare that to a regular old high school student’s car or regular old speedo, and you can understand why tech suits are the secret weapon to many swimmers. It’s like paprika in eggs or anchovies on pizza or lemons in lemonade. Anyway, you get the point: tech suits make you feel like a rock star. Lets go a bit further and poke a big hornets nest. See, swimmers, parents, coaches, etc., etc. etc. complain about how the cost of tech suits are hurting the sport and blah, blah, blah. Do you really think I care. NO. I want that Camaro and you know what I’m willing to pay a little extra for it. Okay, maybe it’s a lot extra, but that's not the point. The point is that Camaros attract the babes. They get the girls. They are as fast as a rocket. They are as expensive as freak. Cost is cost, money is money, but you know what sometimes you gotta eat the cost to get the things you want in life.
So let's summarize. Tech suits are fast. Speedos are slow. Camaros are expensive just like tech suits, but if you want the speed and the ladies you got to shell out the Franklins.
1 Comment
Zach
11/13/2018 06:06:23 am
I enjoyed reading this blog and thought it was funny. I liked the part comparing old cars to speedos and new cars to tech suits. I think it is cool the way the author thought about comparing tech suits and speedos to cars and that tech suits are awesome spices.
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AuthorA tired and very hungry swimmer. Archives
February 2018
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