Tech suits are great. I know, I know I said they were terrible last time, but ya know, sometimes minds change. Don’t sue me or anything, por favor. Cracking out the Spanish because heck, why not. Geez, am I random. Heck, let’s get back on topic. Tech suits are great. They are a marvel of engineering for speed and aerodynamics in the water of a pool. Ya, they’re great. Tech suits are great girl attractors. They form your body into one good looking piece of machinery and make you look like “The Guy.” You strut your stuff, and every girl on the pool deck is talking about you. You literally have a girl on both arms, maybe two. OK, OK, maybe that's a little bit exaggerated. OK, maybe really exaggerated. Hey, a guy has to dream sometimes. Let’s just put it like this: girls notice guys in tech suits. Maybe because it makes us look like Michael Phelps, or the fact the suit is a neon color. Tech suits make you swim faster. You see, when you know the girls are watching you, you want to show off a little. Not too much, just a little. OK, that's false, you want to show off a lot. We swim our little hearts out just so the girls will notice us. Kind of sad, but true. Companies try to say it’s the compression or the fabric, when everyone knows it really is the girls. If companies knew this, they would never make tech suits the same again. Their advertising would change, their design would change, the sport of swimming would change. WOW just for some girls. The best part is the coaches are happy, the parents are happy, and the swimmers are happy. Geez, basically everyone is happy, and it all started because guys like to show off in front of the girls. That is like a life lesson right there. The thing that pisses me off about tech suits is when those little tikes decide to wear them. I get it, I get it. They wear them because all us older kids wear them to swim faster. But that is not the point. The point is they do not need to be impressing the girls, see. They already have the cute factor. They are short, cute, and girls just faun all over them. It makes us older boys just plain jealous. I mean come on! Look over here at this six pack and these sick biceps. Add in the tech suit factor and those little dudes are basically chick magnets. They attract all the girls in the pool young, old, and in between. They literally leave none for the older boys. So, when everyone wants to ban tech suits for younger children for reasons x,y or even pie, all the older boys smile and nod. We are just hoping that they get banned, so all us older boys can have our chicks back.
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AuthorA tired and very hungry swimmer. Archives
February 2018
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