I thought the day would never come. I’m serious. Who would have ever thought that it would happen? This is it. (Sob) This is it. The “Last Blog Post.” (Wipes a tear away)So, let's finish this off with a bang. What else would I talk about for this “Last Blog Post” other than tech suits. Tech suits just grind my gears. They just make me want to punch a wall. I don’t know why they make me want to punch a wall, but they do. By the way, don’t punch a wall; it hurts. In all this controversy over a piece of cloth, I believe, I BELIEVE that it makes a swimmer swim faster. Okay, take it easy on my soul. Let me explain, let me explain. Have you ever seen a shark? I mean at an aquarium, not Jaws. Jaws is a scary movie. Think about it from a swimmer’s perspective. In the water you never know if a shark will get you. Du na, Du na, Ahhhh! I got attacked. It’s got my leg. HELP! Okay, maybe it does not bother me that much; I guess I do swim in a pool. But back on topic. When I’m in the pool I feel like a shark. I feel like an aerodynamic hunk of moving muscle. Woo Wee do I feel good. Now, imagine when I put on a tech suit; it is like I changed from an enormous whale shark to a beautiful, pants-wetting great white. You feel invincible. You feel fast. You feel…...good. If you get my drift. That feeling makes you swim incredibly fast in the water. That's why I want to wear a tech suit. Anyway, babes love a good shark. Look at it from a swimmer’s perspective. On land I am like a walrus. I waddle, slide, trip, fall, and basically don’t look very graceful. I look like a buffoon on two legs. Then, when I’m in the water, I look good. I am in my environment. I am dominant. When swimmers are in the water, that's when we try to attracted the ladies. Anything that we can use to look better and attract more chicks is what we swimmers want. We want to look good, and that is why we wear tech suits. Normally, the chicks aren't attracted because, I mean, we are just normal sharks. Nothing special, just the normal catch. But when we put the tech suits on it is like the big daddy shark. He’s the big boy, he’s fast, he’s good, he’s sexy. Too far? Not wrong. The point is tech suits make us look better than we are normally because we are faster and better looking. The problem is when the little tikes try to attract the ladies as well. That's like shrimp attracting sharks and not being eaten out of pity. I mean, why would a lady shark want to eat a pitiful meal like a shrimp? The point is that all the little dudes are drawing away all the older girls from the bigger dudes. You know what? Because of that, tech suits should be banned for the young tikes, so the big boys can get their ladies. If you are curious, this is exactly like one of my other blogs. Why did I use it again? To get the point across and because I like sharks. The point is that tech suits should be banned for little dudes because you know what, the big boys want the ladies too. Peace out dudes; don’t cry too much since this is my last blog. I’m just not made for this blogger life.
1 Comment
Zach Glover
11/7/2018 05:43:14 am
I enjoyed reading this blog about tech suits and sharks. I thought it was a funny blog and a great one to end with. The blogger pointed out the fact that tech suits make swimmers feel much faster and make them feel great in the water. It all helps the mental game that swimmers are playing every race.
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AuthorA tired and very hungry swimmer. Archives
February 2018
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